Shallow Water is Not Deep but Friendships Can Be

Class reunions, corporate Christmas parties and anything involving relatives so far removed they no longer qualify to be called family are not high on a list of “100 things I want to do before I die”. Another social exchange I would places near the bottom would be anything involving the overused and the incredibly common verbiage of “hi how are ya” moments when you pass someone on a walk, meet at church or the local market.

Personally, I would rather say hello, smile- and keep walking. My husband sees this moment differently. I ask what is the reason for this trivial trading of words when the asker usually doesn’t really listen for the answer and who would likely be shocked if the askee answered truthfully? My wonderful man assures me it is only about being friendly. Basic human courtesy.

Sorry, but this bugs me. I am friendly just as he is, but I view this interaction from a different perch. My view doesn’t make him wrong and I wholeheartedly accept our ability to see the world differently. He does not have the DNA to pass anyone without this little exchange ofwords. But, I do wonder WHY he and so many folks do this verbal dance with nary a second thought. How did we become so surface in the most basic of communications, the greeting of another human being? Do we blame twitter,facebook, pinterest, tumbler and our smart phones for the resounding echo of shallowness in our culture or is there another piece of the puzzle?

Is something missing? Am I the only one noticing? I think not.

Friendships filled with depth and richness bring satisfaction to our lives. If asked, most would rather have a few meaningful friendships than a multitude of shallow relationships. What makes a friendship rich? What allows one relationship to become a valuable ,rich experience and another to be seen as flat and tasteless?

For me, it is a committment to invest into the life of another. When I find a friend who is genuine she becomes a treasure of immeasurable worth. God told Adam, it was not good for him to be alone. I know he was in the process of creating the world and making man and woman- but I like to think he, the consummate multi-tasker was already considering how we would be blessed by the crazy goodness of life-giving, soul-searching and inspiring friendships as we walked this earth. God is relationtional.. He knew we would need others in this world to travel and do life with! Even then he knew coffee would be created and we would need someone to meet and drink it with!

Several powerful friendship stories in scripture remind us God does not desire we walk through life alone- Jonathon and David, Paul and Timothy and Naomi and Ruth are just a few. We need the richness of committed relationship in our lives. God longs to be friends with us and he desires the gift of healthy relationships for us .

Growing up, I often heard my mom give her practical and uncomplicated advice for friendships ” if you want to have a friend you need to be a friend “. Today, I still long to be the kind of friend I want to have in my life. I may fail, fall and get hurt in the process, still I believe it is well worth the risk.

God calls us to live a big life and has given us all we need in his word to live it out. When we lack strength and feel dry- he will fill up our bucket, giving us enough to pour into the lives of others. I have found when I have the least to give- I am the most blessed in relationship.

How can we be the friend we desire to have?

– Be friend-worthy and friendly looking for specific opportunities to invest with a genuine love into the lives of those you are connected with. Be creative! You have much to give and so much to gain by being an authentic and loving friend to another.

– Be willing to take a risk- if you don’t bring genuineness and honesty in your relationships, how can you expect any more from those you are in relationship with?

– Be true . When you are entrusted with the treasure contained in the heart of another It is a privilege. It is a priceless gift to both have a friend and be a friend. Hold it carefully.

You can choose to live shallow and risk free, keeping your walls fortified and remain an island. Or, you can choose to take a chance, live outside of your safe box and invest into the life of another.

Proverbs 18:24 There are “friends” that destroy each other but a real friend sticks closer than a brother. NLT

(Lord, help me to be a friend that builds up, loves and gives like you. Thank you for the amazing friendships you have given me. Amen.)