Friendship

Growing up mom often reminded me, “To have a friend you need to be a friend.”  For a time I wondered if perhaps I would be less than successful in the friendship department. Throughout school days and beyond I had a few close friends but not a huge collection like others seemed to have.

I’ve never been that girl. Small talk makes me woozy and I could easily think of at least a dozen other activities I would rather do ( like go to the dentist for a root canal or have a baby au natural ) than sit around with people I don’t know and talk about things neither of us cares about.

Truly. Must we? Deep down, does anyone love class reunions and networking events where there are smiles on strained faces which pretend to be having fun while mingling with relative strangers who talk about nothing?

Please tell me I am not the only one who sees these events as dreadful.

Most of us would rather have a few great friends we can 100 percent rely on than 50 people with whom we can’t have a real conversation. I am beyond grateful to be blessed with friends who have my back. We share life and laughter together whenever we can.

From my personal experience, less is more when it comes to friendships. 

Photo by Sandie Clarke on UnsplashRecently we invited a group of friends to our home where we sat outside on our deck which overlooks the water and we ate great food, laughed and created memories together.  We slowed our lives to a slow, sweet crawl for one hot summer evening in July. These were some of the people I love most. While they were laughing and eating, I stepped into the shadows and watched them for just a sliver of time and was I saw was beautiful. There were lights dancing on their faces in the almost darkness and for a moment time stood still! Secretly my heart wanted to capture this moment with these friends, and tuck it away for a day sure to come when life would be hard and complicated.  I wanted to remember warm evening breezes, the smell of a steamy hot grill, scrumptious pasta salads, gooey chocolate peanut butter bars but most of all the sound of their voices and the laughter of these people I treasure.

What does it take to build lasting sweet friendships and be an amazing friend?

• Be a Friend. Be outrageous. Love unconditionally. Forgive quickly.
• Give them value. We all long to be accepted and known. Listen to them. Being heard is a rare gift and one which costs you little to give.
• Choose honesty. This one can be sticky. If you must be honest in an area which is sensitive or vulnerable… tread lightly. Ask for permission to speak into their life.
• Celebrate them. Throw confetti, laugh out loud, push them towards success. Be their biggest cheerleader.
• Be present with them when you are together.  A big one here… if you choose to invest in a relationship with your words, choose to be intentional with your actions. Carve out time to send a card, bake a cake, send them flowers or share coffee. Be old school here friends and (gasp) turn off the phone when you are together. For the love of all that matters on this earth, I encourage you to see the gift of your time as valuable. Don’t cheapen it by sharing it with a beeping, tweeting object. Be present.

The power of friendship is incredible; it’s a beautiful thing to find someone whom you can trust with your joys, fears, tears, and laughter. We all need strong friendships and if you have rich friendships in your life, the number of friends you have won’t matter, at all.

There are “friends” who destroy each other, but a real friend sticks closer than a brother.  Proverbs 18:24

 

Think of it as developing and growing quality friendships, not a certain number of friends. Sometimes friends let friends be crazy and goofy, and sometimes friends join in the fray. Life is too short to be serious all of the time.

• Are you taking the time to create and nurture incredible relationships?
• Are friendships hard for you? How can I help and support you?
•  What one thing can you do this week to intentionally invest in a friendship you value to make it richer, wider and deeper?

Remember…listen to my mom… be that friend you wish to have!

Blessings-

Nancy 🙂

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Blessings-